Dr. Carol Clark

Be In Light

The offspring of a customized orbiter
Dr. Carol Clark is a Board certified sex therapist and addictions counselor, president and senior instructor at the Sex Therapy Training Institute and is an adjunct professor at Carlos Albizu University in Miami, Florida.
Our over-stimulated lifestyles have led to a disconnection from each other and the Universe. The themes and exercises in this book will help you to Connect and be present, leading to a more fulfilled and peaceful life.
Welcome to the Sex Therapy Training Institute (STTI) website. We are pleased you have chosen to learn more about the finest, most comprehensive training programs available today.
CAP training for interns and licensees to qualify for the ICRC exam.
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Dr. Carol L Clark

These words, this belief, are the biggest relationship buster I hear in my office. 

If a wife cheats, if a husband is cross-dressing, if a child is using drugs – those who are affected by someone else’s behavior personalize it.  They believe that the other person is doing something to harm them, to piss them off, or to otherwise inconvenience them.  There is the expectation, unrealistic as it may be, that “If you love me, you will (or won’t) do …………”

This totally doesn’t make sense when you, the identified victim of the behavior believe that the other person does indeed love you. 

A new working definition of Recovery (SAMHSA):

“A process of change through which individuals improve their health and wellness, live a self-directed life, and strive to reach their full potential.”

While my book’s title seems to focus on addiction, the real message is about recovery, which is a state of living and way of thinking that applies to everyone.  Addiction is what keeps us from living in recovery.

 

I knew someone once who used to throw away pennies. I saw a whole pile of them in her waste basket one time. They had no value to her because, after all, they were only pennies.

I, on the other hand, pick up pennies wherever I go. I find them on sidewalks and streets, in old pocket books and in furniture. I collect them all. I see pennies as gifts from the Universe and when I accept those gifts, small as they may be, then the Universe will give me larger gifts. By opening myself up to be grateful for whatever comes my way, I open myself up to everything. I don’t put conditions on gifts, I accept them
enthusiastically.

Addiction is about stimulation, and fighting is stimulating. That includes fighting with ourselves. How many times a day do you get into an argument with yourself about something you sort of want to do but don’t really? Or argue with yourself about something you think you “should do” but would rather not?

This line from the Pledge of Allegiance and brings back memories of a time when Americans truly believed we were one nation, all Connected, and that our government was working for all of us. When did that change? How did we get so divided by party alliances that we are virtuallyengaged in another Civil War that is ravaging our country to the detriment of all? As I listened to President Obama and Mr. Boehner on TV last night, it became very apparent how the concept of needing to belong to a group, which I talk about in my book, is driving our government leaders and the American people to self-destruct.